Do Me A Favor
Why is it that asking for help and seeking guidance always seems to be our last resort? I'm all for trying to figure things out on your own. But, just like anything, this requires balance. Think about it. It would be inefficient for us to do everything on our own, and, quite frankly, ignorant and vain for us to think that we are the best at everything. Too often we think that asking for help or advice is a sign of failure - I'd argue that, when done thoughtfully, it is quite the opposite. Thoughtfully asking for others' help shows a special kind of self-awareness and confidence. In fact, doing this in the right way can have an exponential compounding effect on the way things get done.
It's called the Ben Franklin Effect. Yes, this Founding Father and inventor of bifocals also dabbled in behavioral psychology. The Ben Franklin Effect proposes that "a person who has already performed a favor for another is more likely to do another favor for the other than if they had received a favor from that person."
Hold the phone. Person A does something for Person B. And who is most likely to do something for the other next? Person A?! That doesn't add up... does it? The research shows that we like people for whom we've done favors and therefore are likely to do something for them again. Just the mere act of asking for help humanizes the asker! Asking for a favor is not a sign of weakness. Somewhere along the way our “I’ll figure it out” mentality tacked on a silent “...by myself.” It takes a particular confidence and vulnerability to admit you can’t do it all alone and don’t have all the answers. What’s more - when you ask someone for help you are validating the helper. You are recognizing that they are more competent than you at something and that you trust them with some information or responsibility.
The next time you're stuck, overwhelmed, or just unsure, consider asking for help not as a last resort, but as an opportunity for all around growth. You're not just benefiting yourself; you're offering someone else a chance to contribute, to connect, and to be seen. Maybe it’s less about doing it all ourselves and more about knowing when to reach out. Asking for help doesn’t diminish our capability—it expands it. You’d be surprised how far a little vulnerability can take you especially when it invites others to rise alongside you.
